It has been quite some time since a precious little life have been solely dependent on me. I have forgotten how demanding a little baby can be...but needy in a helpless and sweet way. Always wanting to be held, always wanting to be fed, always wanting to be given some attention. Irene and Ron went to see Casting Crowns in concert so I volunteered to watch Baby Aaden. He is such a joy to have.
This experience opened my eyes in how demanding and restless I can be in my relationship with God. I can be so demanding in wanting to be held, to be comforted, to be loved, to be acknowledged, and my list can go on and on... And at times when I cannot feel Him or sense Him near, I fall back into my doubts and insecurities. I just praise God for His crazy love and patience towards me. I am thankful that He understands and embraces my undesirable ways in spite of everything. This time with Aaden has taught me to praise God more and "demand" less of Him. I know that God desires to bless His children, but He also desires to be worshiped. It should never be about me, but how often my flesh gets in the way of what should be lived out in this life I have in Christ. If I can just see more of how God looks at my life from His perspective... or just the mere fact that I AM COMPLETELY COMPLETE in Him at all times. What a wonderful Father I have!Hmm...It's 10:35 pm. Where are your parents, Aaden? =)
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